After almost 2 and a half years since my last post this blog is definitely well overdue an update! Although some great things have happened since I last wrote a post - Tom's sister's wedding in 2013 for example - the last 12 months have been pretty challenging to say the least. Those of you who know me will know my family suffered a real blow in January 2014 - my older sister Jane lost her battle against Bowel Cancer. Whilst Jane and I hadn't been particularly close for a number of years, something I really regret, it of course had a huge effect on me and my family. Thankfully I was able to visit her in the hospice to say my final goodbyes which was possibly the most difficult experience of my life so far, but at least I got to say goodbye. Even typing this now, almost 12 months down the line, it's hard not to feel sad and I can feel tears begin to form, but Jane's death has had some positive side-effects - her husband Al raised a phenomenal amount of money for Beating Bowel Cancer by running the Bupa 10k in May last year, and my younger sister Annie and I both ran the Cardiff Race for Life 10k in July in aid of Cancer Research UK. Whilst the money we raised was considerably less than Al's stellar fundraising efforts I know that every small amount of money contributes and makes a difference in groundbreaking research in the fight against cancer.
Aside from anything else, training for and running a 10k was the single hardest thing I've ever done physically, so I feel really proud of myself for sticking with it and for making it over the finish line with Annie. I worked out that I ran over 217 km during my training which is the equivalent of over 10 half marathons (or 5 full marathons), and given I was a self-certified couch potato who had never done any running before, I was understandably really chuffed with this achievement. It proved that I could actually do something I had previously thought myself wholly incapable of doing, so this is an important lesson I am going to keep in mind for 2015!
My medal reminds me what I am capable of.
This year has also been challenging for work-reasons - I don't want to go into great detail but after almost 9 months of stress, anxiety, and generally feeling miserable and worthless I ended up leaving my job in November. I didn't have anything to go to which was scary, but I've survived and I'll continue to survive, and hopefully this will lead to something even better. Financially it's obviously not a great situation to be in but I have some savings and my family have been extremely supportive and most importantly I am building up my confidence and self-belief again.
Although I am currently feeling a little precarious, I have options and I don't feel anywhere near as stressed as I did 2 months ago. I took a temporary job selling books over December which was hard work but I loved every minute of it, I met some great people and I made a good impression on the managers, who have said they'll definitely let me know if any more work comes up, so at least there's that. In the end, there seems very little point being desperately unhappy on a daily basis just for the sake of a job that only looks good on paper. I'd much rather be earning less in a job that actually makes me happy and that I look forward to every day. So for the time being I'll carry on working hard applying for jobs, helping my Mum out with her various businesses, and also doing volunteering for the National Trust which has proved to be pretty cool (sometimes literally!).
Stewarding at the Illuminated Gardens event at Powis Castle
at the end of November - beautiful but freezing!
Some good things did happen in 2014 though - Tom got a job with Open Reach which has it's own challenges, but he gets to work outside instead of being desk-bound all day, he gets to drive a big white van and work with some pretty cool tools, and he gets paid to climb things! I am so proud of him for working his a** off and beating the competition to get his place, for making it through the long training period in Leeds (which sucked being apart all week), and I hope he enjoys it more and more as time goes on. My big brother Jonjo also bought his first flat and we had a great weekend visiting him and seeing his awesome new pad.
Some college friends also got married in June, and we had our 10 year college reunion in July which was brilliant, although my hangover the next day was a pretty horrendous! My sister Susie also had another little girl in April, Sophia, who is just gorgeous and amazing and they also moved house in the summer so I hope we get to go visit them in France again sometime soon when money permits!
I'm sure I've forgotten some other big things, and I haven't yet finalised my resolutions for the year, but in order to help me remember and cherish the good times of 2015 I've created my own memory jar for the year ahead. The idea is to write down on small scraps of paper good things that have happened throughout the year and pop them in the jar to read again at a later date. It doesn't have to be the big things like weddings and babies, even little things like a catch up with a friend, a walk in the woods, pottering in the garden, or a craft project like this memory jar itself - all these things contribute to making me happy, so they are worthy of going in the jar. Some people don't read the bits of paper until New Year's day the following year, but I like the idea of dipping in and out of the jar throughout the year to remind myself of moments that have made me smile.
Not finished yet - need to decide what
colour to do the lettering.
Vintage-style pocket watch stamp that I
got this Christmas. It seemed appropriate.
That's it for me for now. I'll try and do a post on how I made the memory jar soon, and will update on my resolutions as well soon. Hope everyone had a fantastic Christmas and New Year, and here's to making the most of 2015!
Hi everyone!
I just updated my cooking challenge page with a few new recipes ticked off the list - I've now completed 31 recipes so far with 41 to go. I've been going a bit Eastern crazy lately as I've done the Thai Green curry and more falafel (but baked this time which made me feel a lot better about the calorie content!) and I'm thinking of doing a chickpea and potato curry in the next week or so. Check out my Cooking Challenge page if you have a moment!
In other news, Tom's birthday has been and gone - we went to Silverstone to see the Free Practice for the MotoGP. Unfortunately we couldn't stay for the actual race on the Sunday as Tom had to work but we still had a brilliant time (despite the typical British weather that somehow left me drenched and sunburnt in equal measures) and we're already thinking about booking the whole weekend away next year.
Free Practice on the Friday at Silverstone
Because of our trip to Silverstone I thought Tom's birthday card should have a MotoGP theme to it, and after wracking my brains for days I finally came up with a design I really liked involving a hidden message - the design had checkered flags on the outside, and images of one of Tom's favourite MotoGP riders, Casey Stoner on the inside, and a hidden message in the folded part...
Checkered flags (which took ages...)
MotoGP winner 2012 Casey Stoner
Before he won the Championship last year Casey Stoner's rider number was 27 so I thought this would work well seeing as Tom turned 27 this year.
And now that Stoner is the reigning champion he is now riding under the number 1, so I thought I could play on this to write a cheesy message on the inside of the hidden part of the card.
It's small but the blue number on the bike is 1
I found the hidden message card tutorial on Youtube here (it takes a second or so for the video to start) and even though the original design on the video was quite feminine, the basics can be applied to any kind of card like the one I made.
In addition to the recipes on my Cooking Challenge list I also baked some toffee brownies as a late birthday treat for Tom. Absolutely, unbelievably, sinfully delicious, but so, so bad for you it doesn't bear thinking about (seriously, a whole stick of butter and 3 and a half bars of chocolate went into it!).
In other news, I'm going to be working at another Flower Show in London next week (Hampton Court) which also coincides with a family party to celebrate my cousin Jenny's end of treatment for breast cancer and her 40th birthday, so I'm really pleased I've managed to coordinate things so that I can work on the stand and do the family thing as well.
What else? Oh yes, we had Australian Christmas last weekend which was great fun - it's essentially a big get together for friends who we might not see on a regular basis and we have a bbq and just pretend like it's Christmas in Australia (but without the presents). There's been so much going on in the last month that it's been quite hard to stick to my budget so I'm hoping the next couple of weeks I can get by without spending much and slowly get more out of my overdraft. There's more birthdays coming up in July (including mine) so I'll still have to be careful about money for the time being.
And finally I got to see a specialist about the on and off dizziness I've been having, and he doesn't actually think I have labyrinthitis, which is good news in one sense as it means I won't be left with lasting damage to my inner ear. Unfortunately though he believes I'm been getting vestibular migraines which are what is affecting my balance, and which means I might need to be on medication for the rest of my life (boooo), and also means I have to completely cut out caffeine. Now I can cope without the stimulant side of caffeine as I don't drink much real caffeine these days anyway, but I just really like the taste of coffee and tea, so not sure how I'm going to cope without that. The bit that really upsets me though is.... *pause for dramatic effect*..... no more chocolate either!!
CURSES!!
He's definitely missing his Cadbury's Caramel
So that's my life in a nutshell for now. I'll try and update more as the weeks go by on everything (Cooking Challenge, decaffeinating myself, and getting out of my overdraft).
I've just finished yet another great book, The Glass Castle, by Jeannette Walls. Whilst it really was a very good story (and surprisingly a true story), but I'm actually quite glad it's finished now as I've been staying up late reading a lot lately and I hate feeling groggy in the mornings...not great since I've just started a job in the book selling industry, which is the first step into what I hope will be a successful book-related career.
It's funny, but the last three (non- Dean Koontz) books I've read have all been about the lives of children and their families, particularly children who are growing up in unusual or unfamiliar circumstances.
The first book was Pigeon English by Stephen Kelman about a young and ingenuous boy Harrison who moves to England from Ghana with his Mother and teenage sister, and who must learn about 'growing up' in a curious and at times violent place, without the guidance of his father who has stayed in Ghana with the rest of the family until they can afford the plane tickets, and without much intervention from his mother who works long hours as a midwife. It's a brilliant story told through the eyes of an naive outsider in a world that is both exciting and and full of wonder - every day it seems Harrison, like a sponge, absorbs some new information about his new home and the people in it - but it is also a dangerous world, full of corrupting influences and 'role models' as Harrison struggles to maintain his christian and moral values as the temporary 'man of the house' at the same time as trying to fit in with his peers. I don't want to spoil any of it but some of it is quite sad as it deals with violence and what seems like senseless crime, but in spite of his somewhat grim surroundings, Harrison is such a cheerful, family-oriented boy who rejoices in the small things in his new life, things that others don't necessarily appreciate, like the way his baby sister shouts his name over the phone back in Ghana, making footprints in wet concrete, running in the rain with his eyes closed, and chatting to the pigeon who comes to perch on his balcony, even though everyone else tells him it's nothing but a filthy bird. I suppose what's most sad about Harrison's story is that, although a lot about England is unfamiliar and unusual to him, the story of gang violence in deprived areas and the struggle of immigrant families is all too familiar in the UK...
The second book that I read recently about a child in unusual circumstances is Room, by Emma Donaghue. This is quite simply one of the best books I've ever read. It's told from the perspective of Jack who is 5 years old and has spent his whole life locked inside an 11ft squared room with his Ma and knows nothing else of reality. The language used by both Jack and his mother reveals bit by bit the life that they have built inside their little 'planet'; furniture and household items, such as Rug, Blanket, and Meltedy Spoon all have special significance for Jack and become characters of their own in this strange but creative world. Despite the circumstances of their existence, which becomes apparent as the story unfolds, Jack's Ma is able to create a happy and educational routine for Jack out of the meagre resources available to her, making toys out of leftover egg shells, like Snake who lives under Bed, telling him wonderful stories where he is the main character, singing along and dancing with Jack and his friend Dora who lives in TV, and every day or so playing Scream - stacking furniture up on Table underneath the skylight and shouting as loud as possible - as Ma cryptically says, 'just in case'. Every night Jack is tucked up to sleep inside Wardrobe with the doors shut tight, always before the door beeps to signal Old Nick coming in...
I read this book in one day, I was absolutely, 100% absorbed in it, so compelling was the story, but also the language. For about two weeks after I'd finished it I was still capitalising items of furniture in my head. So imagine what it must be like for little Jack who has known nothing else but Room and all his friends in it, to suddenly find out that there is an Outside. With this life-changing discovery he has to try to comprehend why all his wonderful friends in Room, why everything he has ever loved is no longer enough for Ma, and what that means for their future. Again I don't want to reveal anything too specific about the story, but it is just brilliant. I've lent it to my Mum right now but I think I'll read it again when I get it back, or give it to Tom to read, and then read it again.
The final, most recent book that I read is The Glass Castle, which is the true story of the dysfunctional and impoverished upbringing of Jeannette Walls and her three siblings by her highly intelligent and aspiring, but alcoholic father Rex, and her artistic and at times immature and irresponsible mother Rose Mary, who are constantly dragging their children around the country as they do the 'skedaddle' from one place to the next. In spite, or perhaps because of, her chaotic childhood, Jeannette is determined to make a success of herself, which she eventually achieves as a well-known journalist and columnist in New York, but she later struggles to reconcile her new lifestyle and successes with her roots, feeling guilty and ashamed about her swanky apartment in Park Avenue, while her parents are sleeping rough on park benches.
My own mother is the polar opposite of Rose Mary Walls - my Mum was (still is) a feeder, who I believe has an addiction to food shopping, and while I was at uni she used to insist that I had a friend (preferably of the large, male, rugby-playing variety) to walk me across the large and well-lit open space of Great Court at night, just in case some pervert had managed to sneak past the porters (Cambridge-speak for ex-army security). I always used to joke that he'd have to be the flattest pervert in the world to hide amongst the well-cut lawns of the courtyard, but at least my mother didn't abandon me to the prying hands of actual perverts, or spend all her money on paint instead of clothing her children, or leave us to feed ourselves from rubbish bins at school. Although there are some moments where you feel the love that Rex in particular has for his daughter, and you can appreciate what they were trying to achieve in the 'education' and life experience, in particular the appreciation of nature, that they gave their kids, this book made me feel damn grateful for everything my Mum (and Dad) have ever done for me, and makes me even more keen to make sure I do well in this job, so that I can eventually pay them back (not necessarily financially) for everything they gave me.
Although I absolutely loved each of these books, lately I do feel as if I've read too many brilliant books too quickly and in too quick succession, which I think is why I want to read Pigeon English and Room again, to give them the time and respect they deserve individually. I've been a bit of a book worm of late, which I think is an apt description of how I've been reading. I'm not normally a reader of bestsellers, as my personal tastes are a bit 'different' to the mass-produced consumer market, but it's fair to say I have certainly 'consumed' a lot of literature over the last couple of weeks. Like I said about the Diving Bell and the Butterfly, it's not always a good idea to read books too quickly, and since I hate the idea of books as a 'consumable' item, to be discarded as soon as you've 'used' it once like so many things in today's society, I think I'm definitely going to read some of these books again. I may or may not intersperse them with some Dean Koontz, just to balance out the brilliant-trashy book ratio :)
Ok, it's getting late and I've needed to go to the bathroom for about half and hour now, so I think that's enough rambling book talk for one night. I'll leave you with this, which makes me smile every time.
So, this is a couple of days late but I only really thought about doing this on New Year's Eve during a Quiz based on memorable events from the past year (which none of us were particularly good at actually).
Anyway, in loose chronological order here are some of the more memorable events in my life from the past 12 months.
1. We bought a Wii Fit just after Christmas 2010 and I got a bit addicted and managed to get quite fit and supple, but got out of the habit half way through the year and have only recently got back into it. I definitely need to use it more this next year!!
2. Tom and I went to see The Hold Steady in concert in Manchester the day before Valentine's Day. It was one of the most fun gigs I've been to in a very long time.
3. We also saw Funeral For a Friend in Aberystwyth on the first night of their tour in March. Not many people will know this, but this particular band holds a special place in my heart as it was when Tom and I first went to see them together as friends a few years ago (also in Aberystwyth as it happens) that I started to realise that maybe we really were supposed to be more than just friends...
3. Speaking of friends, my friend Victoria and her husband James had their first child, a gorgeous little girl Ffion Emma, in March!
4. Still on the theme of relationships, Tom and I decided to move into our own place and after a long search we eventually moved into our awesome house in May - happy days! Thanks so much to all our friends and family who lent us furniture and helped carry heavy and/or bulky things in and out of vans and up twisty stairs all day!
http://www.bigbrotherwatch.org.uk
5. It was the year of weddings and engagements as one of my oldest friends from primary school got married in July, followed by the wedding of one of my close friends from work in August, and then finally an old friend from the Netherlands got married at the end of August. Our friends Jemma and Steve also got engaged as did Tom's sister and her fiance Nick!
6. (Related to no. 5) Tom got asked to be a groomsman and I got asked to be a bridesmaid for Jemma and Steve's wedding next April. I'm happy that I got to spend some quality girl time with Jemma and Maid of Honour Cassy (including watching the Wedding Singer for the first time!) and we went to The Wedding Show at the NEC and successfully found the perfect wedding dress for Jem.
7. Going back in time slightly, I took Tom to see Bon Jovi in concert in Manchester for his birthday in June. We were right in the Gold Circle which meant we had a great view of the band and Jon Bon Jovi himself walked right past us during one of the songs. It might have rained all afternoon, but it was a great concert nonetheless! Here's a link to some pics I took. (Yes, it was before Tom got his hair cut...)
8. I nourished my latent creativity by making wall hangings from my postcard collection and I also made a cool book as part of Tom's Christmas present. I'm taking him to see Alkaline Trio next May but won't get the tickets until next year but wanted to give him something related to it... The words are the lyrics for the song 'Private Eye' which I cut from paper clipppings (seemed appropriate).
One of my proudest achievements :)
9. It was a great year for cooking as well, although there have been a few narrowly avoided disasters including the recent 'Chocolate Pudding Incident' in which I couldn't figure out why my cake mixture tasted so awful... until I realised I'd forgotten to add the bowl of sugar that was patiently waiting on the sideboard... Doh! I've been given so many awesome recipe books this year and also discovered loads of cool and interesting recipes through Stumble Upon and Pinterest. Some of the recipes I've written up on here, but there are loads more I've tried and not had time to write up but I'll try and get round to as many as I can this next year.
10. Speaking of which, another important event was starting this blog - yippee! It's been great learning how to use all the features on here and I've really enjoyed the opportunity to get back into writing more regularly. I hope if you've read any of it that it's not been too boring...
Inside Bath Abbey clock tower
11.To counteract all the time spent indoors cooking, writing, and looking up recipes on BBC Food, we did however visit some brilliant places this year. We had a great weekend visiting my uni friends in Brighton, and spent our holiday in Bath Spa where we saw some truly amazing things like the Roman Baths and beautiful country parks, and climbed up inside the Abbey Clock Tower. We also went to my friend's wedding in Holland which was really good fun, and we explored places closer to home like Barmouth, Llandudno, Llangollen, Pontcysyllte, and Llandegla Forest for some great walks, day trips and weekends away.
12. Upon my return from Holland though I got labyrinthitis and ended up being off work for two weeks, which was the longest period of sick leave I've ever had to take in my life so it was very weird. I couldn't read or watch TV, and I struggled to cook or even get around the house and do basic tasks so it was a really frustrating time in my life, having to rely on other peple to help me with almost everything. I still every now and then feel a bit dizzy, but for the most part it's gone so I'm really pleased it's over!!
13. As I started to recover from my labyrinthitis I got seriously addicted to the TV series Lost, having previously only ever watched a spoof version of it on Youtube by Tom's sister and her friends (see youtube video below). Despite the spoilers, I did still sob my heart out everytime someone died, especially like during the finale.
14. Back in the real world, sadly a few people passed away including my nieces' grandmother Sandy, and a friend of my mother's also lost her husband. My lovely cousin Jenny was also diagnosed with breast cancer this summer. However, as I mentioned in a previous post she seems to be going strong and has recently finished her chemotherapy, so we're all hoping the next few stages of her recovery go smoothly and are sending our love and messages to her via Caring Bridge.
www.cricbeat.com
15. We were also saddened by the tragic death of MotoGP rider Marco Simoncelli this year. I've really enjoyed watching the racing on iPlayer with Tom this year so it was a real shock to hear about Marco's awful crash. He was very young and had already achieved so much in such a short amount of time. I'm reminded of a phrase often used to describe the short-lived career of 19th Century French poet Artur Rimbaud, "meteoric".
16. Speaking of which, we also had a brilliant couple of nights star-gazing and watching the meteor showers with some friends and I also went on a night ride up to the Horseshoe Pass with Tom to see if we could see any more. That is one of the best things about living in less built-up areas, the stars are so much more visible than in urban places.
17. I had my uni friends over to stay and we went on our first ever Valley Run (a pub crawl on minibuses around village pubs in the local area). It was just fantastic seeing my friends again, and it was well timed as I'd been going through a tough time at work so it was something fun to look forward to. It unfortunately coincided with our shower choosing to leak everywhere and drip water through the living room ceiling - aghh!
18. My younger brother Patrick became Programme Director for and helped launch a Not-For-Profit enterprise Spectrum Designs Foundation which provides employment opportunities for individuals with developmental disabilities such as Autism. I even appeared in the September issue of their Newsletter in one of their shirts. Here's a promotional video below to explain more about what they do and why!
19. My friend Tammy kindly lent Tom and me a tree and decorations for our first Christmas in our house!
20. I met up with old buddies from France for a weekend in Manchester before Christmas for a rowdy "Mulled Wine and Mariah Carey" party (Mariah wasn't actually there in person, but there was lots of singing along and dancing to classic Christmas tunes).
21. In some very, very exciting news, I also accepted a job offer for a position in a publishing company not far from where we live. People who know me will know how much I LOVE books, so this is a very exciting move for me, and I can't wait to start this new challenge at the end of the month. :D
22. Finally I actually got to see all my family on Christmas Day. Last year my brother Patrick couldn't make it back from the States because of the bad weather so it was amazing to have all the family together in one place over the Christmas period.
So there you have it. Some good bits, some not so good bits, but overall, I think I'm starting to move in the right direction. That's one of the things that's good about keeping a diary or writing a blog, is that you can look back at where you were at a while ago and check where you've got to. That's not to say I'm one for resolutions or that I've got a big strategic plan for myself, but I've certainly got some plans for next year and with a bit of work (and with the help of this blog to keep me on track) I hope I'll achieve them.
With that in mind I hope you've all had a wonderful Holiday and wish you all the very best for 2012!
Cheers!
x
Just a short post, but I just wanted to share how happy I am that my cousin Jenny has just 'rung the bell' on her final chemo treatment for breast cancer over in Canada where her and her family have been living for the past few years. She's still got a way to go yet before she's out of the woods, but it must feel so good to know that this particular stage of her treatment is now at an end, which hopefully means no more horrible chemo side effects (although the drug she'll need to keep taking does still have some nasty side effects as well), and hopefully it also means she'll get her strength up in time for Christmas, which I know will mean a lot to her family, especially the kids, who've had a hard time getting their heads around their Mum not being well.
It must have been really hard for Jenny as she's always been really fit and healthy (she used to be a dancer), and a really hands on Mum, so she's not been used to feeling ill and weak, but she's kept really positive and has been keeping us all up to date by posting her progress on Caring Bridge, so for those of us who don't live nearby it's been great to hear how she's doing and be able to send her our wishes and thoughts on her guest book through both the good and bad times of her treatment.
I am so proud of her for keeping strong and positive and I know a lot of that strength comes from her and her family's religious faith, and she obviously has a very strong and loyal community of friends around her in Canada and over the pond, and it's been lovely reading all the messages of love and strength to keep her going.
So anyway, this is just to say well done Jenny through getting through this grueling stage of treatment, and fingers crossed everything goes well in the next few months!!
