well today's Christmas Eve and we're on the brink of another New Year. In anticipation of some of the changes I'm looking forward to, and in reflection of years gone by, I stumbled upon another translation I did a couple of years ago. The text that I have translated is the song lyrics for Pierre Bensusan's track "Demain dès l'aube", which is composed of lines from Victor Hugo's poem of the same name as well as lines from another poem "A Villequier".
I'm pretty happy with the translation, although the penultimate stanza was a bit harder to render (I'll have to spend some more time thinking of suitable words that rhyme with Harfleur!), so if anyone has any helpful suggestions or comments I'd be glad to hear them!
DEMAIN DES L'AUBE / A VILLEQUIER
(Texte: Victor Hugo, Musique: Pierre Bensusan)
Demain, dès l'aube, à l'heure où blanchit la campagne,
Je partirai. Je sais que tu m'attends.
J'irai par la forêt, j'irai par la montagne,
Je ne puis demeurer loin de toi plus longtemps.
Tomorrow, at dawn, when the sun bleaches the land,
I will leave, I know you wait for me.
I’ll go by the forest, I’ll go through the mountains.
No longer can I bear to be away from thee.
Je marcherai les yeux fixés sur mes pensées,
Sans rien voir au dehors, sans entendre aucun bruit.
Seul, inconnu, le dos courbé, les mains croisées,
Et le jour pour moi sera comme la nuit.
I will walk in a world of my own,
Hearing no sounds, without sight,
Alone, back bent, hands crossed, unknown,
And the day for me will be as night.
Maintenant que Paris, ses pavés et ses marbres,
Et sa brume et ses toits sont bien loin de mes yeux;
Maintenant que je suis sous les branches des arbres,
Et que je puis songer à la beauté des cieux.
Now that Paris, with her marble and streets,
Her mist and her roofs are so far from my eyes,
Now that I am beneath the branches of trees,
And I can dream of the beauty of the skies.
Maintenant qu'attendri par ces divins spectacles
Plaines, rochers, forêts, vallons, fleuves argentés,
Voyant ma petitesse et voyant vos miracles,
Je reprends ma raison devant l'immensité.
Now I am moved by these divine spectacles,
Field, crag, forest, valley, silver stream,
Seeing how small I am, seeing your miracles,
I come to my senses before your creation supreme
Nous ne voyons jamais qu'un seul côté des choses;
L'autre plonge en la nuit d'un mystère effrayant.
L'homme subit le joug sans connaître les causes.
Tout ce qu'il voit est court, inutile et fuyant.
We only ever see one side of life;
The rest is shrouded in terrifying mystery.
Man bears his burdens without knowing why.
All he sees is short, useless, and fleeting.
Je ne regarderai ni l'or du soir qui tombe,
Ni les voiles au loin descendant vers Harfleur,
Et, quand j'arriverai, je mettrai sur ta tombe
Un bouquet de houx et de bruyère en fleur.
I will not watch the gold of the evening rays,
Nor the distant sails of journeys resumed.
And once I have arrived, I will place on your grave,
A bouquet of holly and heather in bloom.
Nous ne voyons jamais qu'un seul côté des choses;
L'autre plonge en la nuit d'un mystère effrayant.
L'homme subit le joug sans connaître les causes.
Tout ce qu'il voit est court, inutile et fuyant.
We only ever see one side of life;
The rest is shrouded in terrifying mystery.
Man bears his burdens without knowing why.
All he sees is short, useless, and fleeting.
Ok, so aside from being indecisive, I'm also pretty damn impatient. I know this about myself. I recognise and accept that that's a bad thing, and I apologise when I know I've gone a wee bit far, but sometimes I find it really hard to be patient with things. Slow walking people in the street, grammatical and spelling errors from co-workers (don't get me started...), people who drive at 40 miles an hour in a 60, and then continue to drive at 40 in a 30 zone (damn you to hell!!)....
Maybe it's because I feel I have to do everything quickly - move quickly, type quickly, talk quickly - that if someone or something holds me up for what seems to be an unnecessarily long time, I don't know how to deal with it. I always seem to have a lot of nervous energy and I'm pretty sure I've got restless leg syndrome.
But something I recently discovered about myself and my impatience - and please don't think for a minute that I'm proud of it - is that, given the right (or should I say wrong) set of circumstances, I can be extremely impatient, and dare I say it, intolerant of others who are drunk when I have to be sober. In fact I'd go so far to say I've recently been borderline rude in this particular situation, and that is something I really, really dislike in others.
As a bit of context, I had agreed to drive me and Tom to his work Christmas meal - mainly because he is not insured on my car and I didn't think it'd be a good idea to go on the motorbike - which meant that I would have to be the designated driver as I don't like to drink anything when I'm driving as I just don't trust myself.
Normally I don't mind driving us to and from various places, but for a combination of reasons (including work-stress, hormones, sleep deprivation, and having already driven 70 miles that day) I started to feel like I was being taken advantage of, particularly as it turned out I would have to take 3 additional people there and back. It wasn't that it would add much time to the journey really as they were all pretty much en-route, but what I ultimately found frustrating was that I would have to be the responsible and sober adult for not just one but four inebriated people who all worked together, whose anecdotes and jokes I would not get, and whose drink-fuelled antics and cringe-worthy chat up lines (thank god they weren't aimed at me) I would not find amusing, and who I would eventually have to herd up like the prodigal cats at the end of the evening, bundle into my car and get them home safely, hopefully without any of them needing to vomit on the way home. I also had to work the next day.Correction, it turns out I didn't actually have to work the next day, I was getting my calendar mixed up. So even less excuse for being so moody...Sorry to everyone who I may have been a bit rude to!
Honestly, I'm not sure why I even agreed to do it in the first place, must have been a moment of madness, but I know for sure that I will not be doing it again. Not because any of my charges were particularly horrendous or awful (annoying but not awful), but I realise now that I personally do not enjoy at all being the sober one at a work 'booze up' for a company that I do not work for. I'm not going to go into any more detail about the evening as I don't want to sound like a miserable old sod, but I did end up writing a short poem about the feelings of extreme frustration that such a situation can inspire, and the bad behaviour it can lead to.
At Last
Nails drumming,
Coke sipping,
Fingers in ears to block the shrieking.
Knees bouncing,
Weak laughing,
Eyes glancing towards the exit.
Deep breathing,
Thin-lipped smiles,
Keys in hand, 'Is that the time?'
Coat on and
Buttons done,
But they're at the bar for another one!
Patience waning,
No more hints,
Does it really take an hour to finish one drink??
Finally in the car,
The heating blows,
As the doors slam shut, away we go
Radio up,
Foot on the floor,
Rain pounding on the windows and doors.
Cargo delivered,
No time for goodbyes,
Wheels spinning wildly on muddy drives.
Fingers unclench,
Can stop grinding teeth,
As we near the house a great sigh of relief...
Engine switched off.
The ordeal is past.
With head on the wheel, I'm home. At last.
Sticking with the cheesy theme, this is one of my favourite snacks to make. The fact that everyone I've made it for has loved it has solidified its place in our house. I made it last night for Tom as he was working late and didn't want anything big by the time he got home, so it reminded me that it was time to share the love!
It's another from Ravinder Bhogal's 'Cook in Boots', and it's from the Chapter 'TV, remote control and a meal for one'. I also think it's quite a good one for a late breakfast after a night out.
Chilli cheese toasts
Serves 1
Ingredients
1/2 small red onion, finely chopped (I used white and found it just as nice)
1 tomato, finely chopped
1 green chilli (deseeded if you don't want it too hot), and finely chopped (you could use a shake of crushed chillis instead)
1/4 green pepper, deseeded and finely chopped
3 tbsp chopped fresh coriander (as I've mentioned before I'm not a lover of coriander, so I tend to just use a small amount of ground coriander instead)
2 tsp sweet chilli sauce or tomato ketchup (Aldi's do a yummy tomato and sweet chilli chutney which works brilliantly)
I also add 1/2 to 1tsp of pesto but that's completely optional
Ground black pepper
2 slices thick white bread
100g Cheddar cheese, grated
Method
1. Preheat the grill to a medium high heat.
2. In a small mixing bowl mix together the onion, tomato, chilli, green pepper, coriander, sweet chilli sauce / ketchup, and pesto (if using). Season with pepper.
3. Toast one side of the bread under the grill, then layer the vegetable mix over the untoasted side of the bread.
4. Flash under the grill for 3 minutes so that the onion softens slightly.
5. Top with the cheese, and cook until bubbling.
6. Serve immediately with a generous helping of trash TV (Ravinder's words, not mine!)
Hi all,
sorry it's been a while since I last wrote anything on here. Been a bit preoccupied with Christmas and work and so on.
Anyway, I wanted to post this recipe as I've cooked it a couple of times and it was sooooo good, I wanted to share :)
Of course it's from the BBC Food website (how I managed to survive without this for so many years I do not know), and it's from the Hairy Biker's (food and bikes, what could be better?). As with all my recipe posts I'll link to the original recipe but add what I changed and my comments or suggestions (not to suggest that I think I know better of course!).
Yes I put it under the grill and the breadcrumbs caught a teeny bit this time
1 head cauliflower, trimmed and broken in to florets
250g smoked streaky bacon (I prefer non-streaked but it's up to you), cut into thin strips
250g chestnut mushrooms, finely sliced (I guess they go further that way)
I also added one leek, sliced
25g butter
50g plain flour
250ml full fat milk
200g Gruyere cheese, grated (I used cheddar instead)
55ml double cream (I used low fat creme fraiche instead and it gave mouth-watering flavour)
Pinch mustard powder (I don't have any so seasoned with cayenne pepper, but go easy on it as it packs a punch!)
Salt and ground black pepper
Pinch ground nutmeg
For the topping
50g ciabatta breadcrumbs (I just used normal sliced bread - I'm not made of money!)
50g parmesan cheese, finely grated
I personally felt that the ingredients did not make enough bechamel sauce so I increased the amounts of butter, flour, milk and creme fraiche to make more but even then it didn't fully cover the cauliflower (perhaps the last two cauliflowers have been abnormally big, but I don't think so...). Generally the sauce melts and spreads a bit more in the oven, but still I prefer my cauliflower cheese to be absolutely covered in sauce so next time I might just go for it and add 50% more to each ingredient.
Method
1. For the cauliflower, cook the florets in a large pan of boiling water for about 10 minutes, or until just tender. Drain and set aside and set the oven to preheat to 180c while you're preparing the sauce.
2. Meanwhile for the bechamel sauce, fry the bacon strips in a dry frying pan until coloured but not crisp. Remove the bacon with a slotted spoon, keeping the bacon fat in the pan.
3. At this point I fried the leeks in the same pan with a little butter added as there wasn't much fat really (perhaps that's why it needs to be streaky bacon?). I then set aside the leeks with the bacon.
4. Then add the mushrooms to the same frying pan and fry for 2 - 3 minutes until golden brown (depending on your preferences you might want to add a small amount of butter). Remove from the pan and set aside with the other cooked ingredients.
5. Melt the butter in a clean saucepan and beat in the four until smooth. Gradually add in the milk bit by bit, whisking with each addition until smooth. Then stir in the mustard powder if using, or carefully shake in the cayenne pepper (keep tasting to make sure it's not too much), and add the grated cheese. Stir until the cheese has melted and then add the creme fraiche. Keep stirring until everything has melted and the mixture is fully combined and thick and creamy.
NB. If you're not sure about the technique of making a roux for a white sauce, watch the video on the link to the original recipe on BBC Food. Have to admit I've not used warm milk before, so I may give this a go next time to see if it makes it better.
6. Season to taste with salt and pepper, and then fold in the mushrooms, bacon, and leeks.
NB. At this point you've probably had a few tastes and made loud exclamations about how tasty the sauce is - RESTRAIN YOURSELVES! Otherwise whoever you're cooking for will be in the kitchen like a shot, spoon in hand, and unless you can overpower them, you definitely won't have enough to cover the cauliflower!
7. At this point the oven should be warm enough, so put the cauliflower florets in an ovenproof dish and pour over the cheesy sauce. Sprinkle over a pinch of ground nutmeg.
In the original recipe they suggested putting the topping on before putting the dish in the oven, but as my sauce tended to melt a bit more in the oven I would be tempted to put it in the oven for a few minutes (maybe 5) and then add the topping and return to the oven, but have a go and see what you prefer.
8. For the topping, mix the breadcrumbs (ciabatta or otherwise) with the parmesan cheese, and sprinkle over the cauliflower. Place into the oven for 15 minutes, or until the topping is golden-brown and bubbling.
9. Spoon onto plates and serve with green salad and crusty bread, or whatever you like (could be a good side for Christmas dinner in fact). Be prepared for some serious bowl and spoon licking as there won't be much left over!
finally got round to taking photos off my phone of one of our recent walks on a particularly beautiful Autumn day in North Wales. We walked over the Pontcysyllte Aqueduct (something I've wanted to do for a while, as I mentioned in a previous post) and it really was beautiful so here's a link to some more pics.
L. Bardsley, 2011
Turns out it's the longest and highest aqueduct in Britain, as well as being a World Heritage Site (as is the Colosseum in Rome just to put it in perspective) which I didn't know until we reached the other side. I also didn't realise it was a particularly noteworthy tourist attraction until we had to squeeze past groups of tourists coming from the other direction - a tad nerve-wracking given how narrow the walkway was, and given that some of the bars on the barrier were really quite wobbly, which Tom took great pleasure in pointing out to me. Even though the views were lovely from the top, it was actually even more better from below as you got a real sense of how high up the structure is, plus the sun was beginning to set which made the light look really cool on the pics (in my humble opinion). It was also a lot more peaceful down by the river as there weren't any tourists down there (just the odd dog-walker).
If you get the chance I'd definitely recommend a wander over there on a nice Autumn day - the colours on the trees were just spectacular at that time of year.
The last few weeks at work have been frustrating to say the least, to the point where I've felt at times like I just wanted to walk out. I'm not going to go into details as it would be unprofessional and also it will just make me mad again but suffice it to say that right now I'm feeling pretty darn low about work.
When I was a student I probably worked longer hours than I do now (partly because my boss claims they can only afford to pay me for four days/week), weekends were my prime essay-writing/translating/grammar exercising times, and I probably had even less money than I do now. But somehow, even though being a student certainly had stresses of it's own, I was happy to put up with that, safe in the knowledge that, hopefully, one day, all the hours spent in confusion over some mental 19th Century French poetry, the late nights grappling with German philosophers where even the English translations left me completely in the dark, and even the pain of Elaine's Showalter's "The Female Malady", one day, all this would all be worth it. One day I'd get a job that would challenge and inspire me - or at the very least, cover the bills and make me feel ok about getting up in the morning.
Before graduating back in 2009, I had no idea, honestly no idea, how important - or rather vital - weekends would be in my adult working life. Before then TGI Fridays just meant a chain of restaurants, but now I rely on Chris Moyles' 'McFly Day' on the Friday morning commute and Scott Mills' 'Wonderyears' to get me through the week, and bring me into the weekend where I can finally let my hair down and let off some steam.
'Letting off steam' as a phrase reminds me of one of the more memorable lectures I have had as a language student. Martin Crowley, one of our 20th Century French specialists, was giving the lecture on a Monday morning and he started off by commenting that some of the students looked a bit worse for wear, which he surmised was most likely the result of having been out over the weekend 'letting off steam' in true student fashion, e.g. drinking, dancing (or moshing if you're that way inclined), and singing til the wee hours, joking, laughing, larking about, copping off with that person you fancied from your seminar, throwing up, perhaps getting in a fight outside Gardi's (the legendary kebab shop on Rose Crescent), stealing the odd traffic cone or two, or heaven forbid, running across the pristine lawns in college (a privilege reserved for academics and their guests) if you really felt like putting up two fingers to the 'system' - in other words being rowdy. Over the course of the lecture (even though at the time it didn't really feel like a lecture), he tried to get us to think about why we feel the need to 'let off steam'.
Illustration: Ezio Geneletti/Getty Images
If you think about it, we, as students or employees, work hard all week to either get paid, or to complete our assignments so we can eventually graduate with a decent enough qualification to get us paid work. The weekend, or whatever time off we get off, is therefore a socially sanctioned opportunity to act wild and let our hair down in order to vent all the pent up frustration, stress, and petty grievances that build up over the course of the working week. Venting all of this pressure helps us get it out of our systems, so we can simmer down, so that we start the following week somewhat less stressed and frustrated, allowing us to continue to function as students and employees. If you think of the weekend as a safety valve on a boiler, if we didn't have the opportunity to 'let off steam', if our safety valve was missing or faulty, then the pressure would keep building and building and building, until eventually... something a bit like this would happen:
Now the point of the lecture, when it eventually came out, was the suggestion that the cycle of working, de-pressurising, then working again, actually plays a vital role in keeping people working, in keeping us functioning, kind of like human pressure vessels, so that the economy can keep going. As Mythbusters host Adam Savage comments, at 85,500 pounds of pressure, you'd fail too. If we did not have the opportunity to regularly vent, then we would eventually 'fail', and then not only would we be of no use to our employers, but nor would we be any use to the economy as a whole. In some cases, if pressure continues to build and is never properly vented, then you end up with seemingly normal people 'going postal' and murdering their co-workers and managers. [If you're wondering how on earth this links to French literature it has something to do with transgressive (some might say pornographic) writer Georges Bataille who proposed an economic theory involving excess, waste, and non-productive activities].
It's quite a cynical standpoint, one for the likes of Rage Against The Machine frontman Zack de la Rocha, but I have to admit, not only do we see examples of this kind of conduct in 'celebrities' like Lindsey Lohan, Britney Spears (who didn't just let her hair down but shaved it all off), and a whole raft of professional sportsmen and women, but I also recognise some of those behaviours in myself, my friends, my co-workers, and my family (not the killing people part, though the thought has occurred to me recently). When I finished my final exams at uni, some friends and I climbed over the fence of the outdoor swimming pool at the end of a night out and went swimming in our underwear. More recently, (last Friday) I felt really angry and upset about work, so we went to see a comic play 'The Village Fete' by my old ADS group in Guilsfield, which was brilliant as it made me roar laughing and therefore made me feel a hell of a lot better about things. (If only the government saw the real value of the arts...*sigh*)
And last night, we met up with some friends to wonder around the Christmas fair in town, and me and my best friend Amy decided to go on the Waltzers. Now either we have aged terribly in the last couple of years, or this thing was going far, far faster than recommended, but we both felt like our heads were going to get ripped off, Amy thought she was going to be sick, and for ages after the ride had finished I felt like I had labyrinthitis again I was so dizzy and wobbly on my feet. But despite the terrifying speed of the ride, we both laughed and yelled from start to finish, and I certainly felt better and happier afterwards.
Now obviously different people let off steam in different ways, arguably in more healthy ways than going on a massive bender and feeling rough for the rest of the weekend. Some people have movie nights with friends. Some people work out, or go running, horse riding, or mountain biking. Some people go shopping (even better for the economy!!). Some people do yoga or meditate. Some people play adrenaline filled computer games where they can race fast cars or fight bad guys (Tom recently finished Batman Arkham Asylum). Some people write angry letters to the newspaper about this and that. And some people cook.
I once worked with a guy whose wife baked when she was in a bad mood, and baked when she was in a good mood, which he was more than happy about, and sometimes I feel the same. I certainly feel that cooking something delicious really lifts my spirits if I've had a bad day. If I'm feeling unappreciated at work, cooking a dish that gives someone else pleasure and enjoyment is a way of re-building self-esteem. For an amateur cook like myself who normally needs to follow a recipe, cooking is an activity that requires me to really focus on what I'm doing right now, to really be in the present moment. If my mind wonders back to something that's worrying me or frustrating me about work, then I lose concentration on what I'm supposed to be doing - I lose track of time and leave a pan on the stove for too long, or put in too much of ingredient x, or cut my finger chopping carrots - and as a result the dish normally ends up being not quite right. So for me, cooking is an excellent activity on two counts - not only does it immerse me in an activity that takes my mind off other things, but it also (most of the time) results in something tasty, and everyone knows how much I love eating good food!
For Julie Powell, the heroine of the film 'Julie & Julia' (based on the book by Powell), the reason she loves cooking is as follows:
"Chocolate cream pie! You know what I love about cooking? I love that after a day when nothing is sure and when I say nothing, I mean nothing. You can come home and absolutely know that if you add egg yolks to chocolate and sugar and milk, it will get thick. That's such a comfort."
From Julie & Julia, 2009
So having written this long post, how much better am I feeling about work? Well, writing my thoughts down generally makes me feel better, and thinking about cooking makes me feel better. But does it actually change how I feel about work? The answer is no. My situation has not changed one bit. 'Letting off steam' is fine for keeping me 'ticking over' but it does not address or provide solutions to the issues I have about my current job. It's just a distraction / escapism tactic. I think nowadays, in times of recession and escalating utility bills and where a lack of alternatives means I cannot afford to just walk away, it is easier to just keep 'ticking over' in the same position, than it is to take a leap of faith and attempt to do something different. But deep down, I'm not sure that 'letting off steam' in the ways I've outlined above is going to be enough to stop me from exploding sooner or later.
On that happy note, I really hope you all have an amazing weekend whatever you end up doing! :)
Take care x
