2014 - Year in review

Happy New Year!

After almost 2 and a half years since my last post this blog is definitely well overdue an update! Although some great things have happened since I last wrote a post - Tom's sister's wedding in 2013 for example - the last 12 months have been pretty challenging to say the least. Those of you who know me will know my family suffered a real blow in January 2014 - my older sister Jane lost her battle against Bowel Cancer. Whilst Jane and I hadn't been particularly close for a number of years, something I really regret, it of course had a huge effect on me and my family. Thankfully I was able to visit her in the hospice to say my final goodbyes which was possibly the most difficult experience of my life so far, but at least I got to say goodbye. Even typing this now, almost 12 months down the line, it's hard not to feel sad and I can feel tears begin to form, but Jane's death has had some positive side-effects - her husband Al raised a phenomenal amount of money for Beating Bowel Cancer by running the Bupa 10k in May last year, and my younger sister Annie and I both ran the Cardiff Race for Life 10k in July in aid of Cancer Research UK. Whilst the money we raised was considerably less than Al's stellar fundraising efforts I know that every small amount of money contributes and makes a difference in groundbreaking research in the fight against cancer.

Aside from anything else, training for and running a 10k was the single hardest thing I've ever done physically, so I feel really proud of myself for sticking with it and for making it over the finish line with Annie. I worked out that I ran over 217 km during my training which is the equivalent of over 10 half marathons (or 5 full marathons), and given I was a self-certified couch potato who had never done any running before, I was understandably really chuffed with this achievement. It proved that I could actually do something I had previously thought myself wholly incapable of doing, so this is an important lesson I am going to keep in mind for 2015!

My medal reminds me what I am capable of.

This year has also been challenging for work-reasons - I don't want to go into great detail but after almost 9 months of stress, anxiety, and generally feeling miserable and worthless I ended up leaving my job in November. I didn't have anything to go to which was scary, but I've survived and I'll continue to survive, and hopefully this will lead to something even better. Financially it's obviously not a great situation to be in but I have some savings and my family have been extremely supportive and most importantly I am building up my confidence and self-belief again.

Although I am currently feeling a little precarious, I have options and I don't feel anywhere near as stressed as I did 2 months ago. I took a temporary job selling books over December which was hard work but I loved every minute of it, I met some great people and I made a good impression on the managers, who have said they'll definitely let me know if any more work comes up, so at least there's that. In the end, there seems very little point being desperately unhappy on a daily basis just for the sake of a job that only looks good on paper. I'd much rather be earning less in a job that actually makes me happy and that I look forward to every day. So for the time being I'll carry on working hard applying for jobs, helping my Mum out with her various businesses, and also doing volunteering for the National Trust which has proved to be pretty cool (sometimes literally!).

Stewarding at the Illuminated Gardens event at Powis Castle
at the end of November - beautiful but freezing! 

Some good things did happen in 2014 though - Tom got a job with Open Reach which has it's own challenges, but he gets to work outside instead of being desk-bound all day, he gets to drive a big white van and work with some pretty cool tools, and he gets paid to climb things! I am so proud of him for working his a** off and beating the competition to get his place, for making it through the long training period in Leeds (which sucked being apart all week), and I hope he enjoys it more and more as time goes on. My big brother Jonjo also bought his first flat and we had a great weekend visiting him and seeing his awesome new pad.

Some college friends also got married in June, and we had our 10 year college reunion in July which was brilliant, although my hangover the next day was a pretty horrendous! My sister Susie also had another little girl in April, Sophia, who is just gorgeous and amazing and they also moved house in the summer so I hope we get to go visit them in France again sometime soon when money permits!

I'm sure I've forgotten some other big things, and I haven't yet finalised my resolutions for the year, but in order to help me remember and cherish the good times of 2015 I've created my own memory jar for the year ahead. The idea is to write down on small scraps of paper good things that have happened throughout the year and pop them in the jar to read again at a later date. It doesn't have to be the big things like weddings and babies, even little things like a catch up with a friend, a walk in the woods, pottering in the garden, or a craft project like this memory jar itself - all these things contribute to making me happy, so they are worthy of going in the jar. Some people don't read the bits of paper until New Year's day the following year, but I like the idea of dipping in and out of the jar throughout the year to remind myself of moments that have made me smile.

Not finished yet - need to decide what
 colour to do the lettering.

Vintage-style pocket watch stamp that I
got this Christmas. It seemed appropriate.

That's it for me for now. I'll try and do a post on how I made the memory jar soon, and will update on my resolutions as well soon. Hope everyone had a fantastic Christmas and New Year, and here's to making the most of 2015!