Friday, 16 December 2011

Patience is a virtue...

Ok, so aside from being indecisive, I'm also pretty damn impatient. I know this about myself. I recognise and accept that that's a bad thing, and I apologise when I know I've gone a wee bit far, but sometimes I find it really hard to be patient with things. Slow walking people in the street, grammatical and spelling errors from co-workers (don't get me started...), people who drive at 40 miles an hour in a 60, and then continue to drive at 40 in a 30 zone (damn you to hell!!)....

Maybe it's because I feel I have to do everything quickly - move quickly, type quickly, talk quickly - that if someone or something holds me up for what seems to be an unnecessarily long time, I don't know how to deal with it. I always seem to have a lot of nervous energy and I'm pretty sure I've got restless leg syndrome.

But something I recently discovered about myself and my impatience - and please don't think for a minute that I'm proud of it - is that, given the right (or should I say wrong) set of circumstances, I can be extremely impatient, and dare I say it, intolerant of others who are drunk when I have to be sober. In fact I'd go so far to say I've recently been borderline rude in this particular situation, and that is something I really, really dislike in others.

As a bit of context, I had agreed to drive me and Tom to his work Christmas meal - mainly because he is not insured on my car and I didn't think it'd be a good idea to go on the motorbike - which meant that I would have to be the designated driver as I don't like to drink anything when I'm driving as I just don't trust myself.

Normally I don't mind driving us to and from various places, but for a combination of reasons (including work-stress, hormones, sleep deprivation, and having already driven 70 miles that day) I started to feel like I was being taken advantage of, particularly as it turned out I would have to take 3 additional people there and back. It wasn't that it would add much time to the journey really as they were all pretty much en-route, but what I ultimately found frustrating was that I would have to be the responsible and sober adult for not just one but four inebriated people who all worked together, whose anecdotes and jokes I would not get, and whose drink-fuelled antics and cringe-worthy chat up lines (thank god they weren't aimed at me) I would not find amusing, and who I would eventually have to herd up like the prodigal cats at the end of the evening, bundle into my car and get them home safely, hopefully without any of them needing to vomit on the way home. I also had to work the next day. Correction, it turns out I didn't actually have to work the next day, I was getting my calendar mixed up. So even less excuse for being so moody...Sorry to everyone who I may have been a bit rude to!

Honestly, I'm not sure why I even agreed to do it in the first place, must have been a moment of madness, but I know for sure that I will not be doing it again. Not because any of my charges were particularly horrendous or awful (annoying but not awful), but I realise now that I personally do not enjoy at all being the sober one at a work 'booze up' for a company that I do not work for. I'm not going to go into any more detail about the evening as I don't want to sound like a miserable old sod, but I did end up writing a short poem about the feelings of extreme frustration that such a situation can inspire, and the bad behaviour it can lead to.

At Last

Nails drumming,
Coke sipping,
Fingers in ears to block the shrieking.
Knees bouncing,
Weak laughing,
Eyes glancing towards the exit.

Deep breathing,
Thin-lipped smiles,
Keys in hand, 'Is that the time?'
Coat on and
Buttons done,
But they're at the bar for another one!
Patience waning,
No more hints,
Does it really take an hour to finish one drink??

Finally in the car,
The heating blows,
As the doors slam shut, away we go
Radio up,
Foot on the floor,
Rain pounding on the windows and doors.
Cargo delivered,
No time for goodbyes,
Wheels spinning wildly on muddy drives.

Fingers unclench,
Can stop grinding teeth,
As we near the house a great sigh of relief...

Engine switched off.
The ordeal is past.
With head on the wheel, I'm home. At last.

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