Decisions, decisions, decisions...

Hi everyone! Hope you're all marvelous today :)
And by everyone I think I'm just referring to the four of my lovely friends who've chosen to 'follow' this blog - thanks guys! I'm not sure I really like this whole thing about 'following' people online if I'm honest though. Let's re-phrase, I like that people are even the slightest bit interested in my wafflings, it's just the word I don't like. Just because I'm interested in what someone's got going on in their life, or in their thoughts on something doesn't mean I'm a donkey with a carrot in front of my nose, or a modern disciple...hmm, I wonder what would have happened if Twitter was around in the times of Jesus. Think he'd have had more than 12 'followers', but then they wouldn't have been quite as committed 'followers' as the original dozen methinks.

I actually have a fear of deep water so perhaps that's why I don't 'dive'

I would have been a useless disciple for sure. I'm definitely the kind of person who flits from one interesting thing to the next without really ever acquiring any profound level of understanding. I recently read an article in Psychologies magazine which pretty much categorized me as a 'scanner' rather than a 'diver' (Doctors are divers for example), which is apparently why I find work frustrating as I get bored pretty much as soon as I've grasped the fundamentals of something, and am always looking for something different and more interesting to move on to. It's also why I find the job search process so hard as I don't like the idea of committing myself to something too specific that will prevent me from doing something different a few years down the line. Over the past 10 years I've wanted to be a translator, a civil servant, a Human Resources officer, a singer in a band, a teacher, a book shop owner or librarian, a baker, a venue manager, a Mythbuster, and even a psychologist or counsellor. Go figure.

I've also wanted a tattoo for a good few years now, and have actually (amazingly) settled on a design I like, but have never gone through with it because I can't choose a) where I want it and b) whether I want it in black & white or colour and c) if colour, which colours?? It's a butterfly so the options are pretty much endless, but also if I change my mind (which is a distinct possibility with me) then I might end up hating it. So it's a stalemate for me and the tattoo. *sad face*

But I'm also frustratingly indecisive about small things - I must drive poor Tom mad - for example this blog. If this is the first time you've tuned in so to speak, you won't have noticed anything odd, but in fact I've changed blog design 3 or 4 or even 5 times already. Part of it is probably just exploring all the different templates and backgrounds of the world of blogging which is all a bit new to me anyway, but part of it is that, in this world where customization slides its slippery self ("like an eel..." *Might Boosh reference*) into almost every aspect of our lives, I'm made to feel like this blog, this webpage has to be an absolute reflection of what makes me ME. Which is ridiculous. As I mentioned earlier, and as I state in my profile, I like a whole range of things, and I write about anything from translations, to recipes, to concerts, to art and museums, to musings on why I'm so indecisive, to travel, to ranting about this or that, to tattoos, to weddings, and so on and so forth. It's quite clear I lack focus as it is (unlike Andy's Completion Project which is a brilliant idea if I may say so), so how on earth can one blog design appropriately encompass and reflect all those individual interests and aspects of what makes me me??

Colour = good

So anyway, at the moment I've settled for something a bit simpler than what I did have, and which will hopefully be a bit clearer to read. I like this particular design template mostly because of the name, Awesome Inc - words are powerful guys - but also because it's bright and colourful (I spent a lot of my teenage years dressed in black so have somewhat recently discovered colour again), because it looks kind of like paint which is arty, but it also kind of looks a bit messy which is like me, especially when I've been cooking. So for now it's going to stay this way, but I can't promise I won't get bored and change it again. Sorry, but some things will never change... wait, is that irony...?

c. 1950. www.scienceandsociety.co.uk

So anyway... to change topic from the seemingly self-centred to the selfless, the other thing I find it difficult to make decisions about is Christmas, specifically, choosing presents for my family. If you thought I was crap at making decisions about relatively unimportant things, you should see me at Christmas. Shopping for my large family has always been a bit of a stress for me. Not in the 'this is such a hassle' sense you understand, it's just I put pressure on myself to get nice things that people actually want and I get frustrated if I can't just get on with it and make a decision. But I've come up with a solution which for the last couple of years has served me relatively well. Every year I send the siblings a Facebook message asking if there's anything they'd like in particular and then between the rest of us we can organise ourselves to either get them something really awesome (read, expensive) between all of us, or just make sure that we don't buy the same gift twice.

I know that might seem lazy on my behalf, but you have to remember that I don't live with (or very close to) any of my siblings anymore. I don't know what CDs or DVDs they already have (unless it's something I've bought for them), besides which, they, like me, probably change their minds about what they're 'into' quite frequently anyway. It's hard to keep up with people like that, me being the worst culprit. I suppose that's why I'm notoriously difficult to buy for and for the record I haven't thought of one thing I'd really like for Christmas. It's enough of a stress trying to find presents for other people let alone myself!

But hopefully this year I'm ahead of the game, and soon I'll get some ideas from the siblings (and maybe even Tom - that one I am going to need to put some serious thought into) in plenty of time to find everyone something they would like that I can also afford. I'm going to pop into town today anyway to see if I can find anything for my sister in the beautiful Vintage shop above the gallery (Timeless Vintage), and then hopefully I can get some inspiration for the others as well while I'm out and about.

Hope I've not bored you with my ramblings!
Bye for now!
x